The three aims of the Non-Verbal Communication study
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The aims deriving from the NVC study could be summarized in three macro areas:
1. Understand better ourselves: the study of our own gesture, of the posture, of the signals that generally we emit with our body is an efficient help to understand better how we move in the world, how we get in relationship with the people and what kind of relationships we have with the daily circumstances. For instance if a student notices that every time he speaks with a certain girl his hands sweat, he cannot keep his eyes on her and his heart beat increases, he has for sure the elements to say that he experiences something for that girl. The more someone is getting serious in observing and understanding what he experiences and consequently in reacting to the things that succeed, the easier it is going back to the inner peace condition that is the mental condition that should be better to have when there has to be taken important decisions and also during an ordinary day.
2. Understand better the others: the NVC study has within itself the purpose to understand better the people we get in relationship with and to verify if the impression we think to show is real or only an our perception. Think about a man who tells vulgar jokes around a table with women. Maybe he thinks them to be fun and he will continue to tell other ones, not realizing that the women will have a closed position: they will be seated with the back leaned to take the distance from the table and with a face expression of disgust. Studying the NVC is useful to avoid living in a bubble full of our fantasies.
3. Make a strategic communication: learning to read the NVC it is learnt to have a continuous and direct flux of feedbacks from our interlocutor, and it can be made the conversation more pleasant avoiding speaking continuously about a topic that is unpleasant for our interlocutor. This personal anecdote can help to understand better: some months ago I took part to a conference as “observing”, invited by a businessman who had to speak with a colleague of him about the negotiation of the purchase of a firm. Studying the non-verbal the seller could negotiate until the real price that was the benchmark below which he hadn’t sell the firm. At the end of the conference the businessman who invited me thanked me saying that he spent more than 500.000 euros less than his best forecast. Although this striking example, it is always true that we buy or sell things to a price over their real value.
Milan, 4th July 2017